Some boys bring a towel.
Some boys bring a plan.
And some boys… keep score.
The Happy Little Cum Dump Muscle Tank is loud, shameless, and exactly the kind of humor that earns you drinks before you even open your mouth. Front and center is our cheerful little dumpster — living its best life — while the back keeps a running tally of community participation. No names, no shame… just math.
This isn’t subtle Pride merch.
This is locker-room smirk energy, darkroom confidence, and that friend who always says “I’ll behave tonight” and never does.
Whether you’re heading to a bar night, a leather party, Pride festival, or just the gym where eye contact lasts a second too long — this tank does the talking first.
Why You’ll Want It
- Dirty humor that lands instantly (no explanation required)
- Conversation starter — or closer
- Front graphic + tally back print = double take guaranteed
- Perfect for Pride, clubs, parties, and chaotic weekends
- Campy, bold, and unapologetically queer
Fit & Feel
Soft enough to sleep in.
Revealing enough you probably won’t.
• 100% airlume combed ring-spun cotton
• Fabric weight: 4.2 oz/yd² (142 g/m²)
• 32 singles — smooth premium feel
• Relaxed fit
• Side-seamed construction
• Wide, low-cut armholes (because shoulders deserve attention)
Wear it ironically.
Wear it honestly.
Wear it and let the scoreboard update itself.
• Blank product sourced from Nicaragua, Honduras, or the US
Age restrictions: For adults
EU Warranty: 2 years
Other compliance information: Meets the flammability level requirements.
Our garments have been tried, tested and pig approved! Any issues and you can obtain a refund or replacement within 2 years for faulty goods, or goods that don’t look or work as advertised. At Backroom Gear, we're also committed to the environment by making each item to order and using eco-friendly inks, minimizing waste and ensuring sustainable production.
In compliance with the General Product Safety Regulation (GPSR), Backroom Gear and SINDEN VENTURES LIMITED ensure that all consumer products offered are safe and meet EU standards. For any product safety related inquiries or concerns, please contact our EU representative at gpsr@sindenventures.com. You can also write to us at Markou Evgenikou 11, Mesa Geitonia, 4002, Limassol, Cyprus.
Returns Policy
DUE TO ACCIDENTAL ORDER OR CHANGE OF MINDWe offer refunds and/or exchanges, providing a request for return is received within 30 days of your order being delivered. Your item must be in its original packaging and in the same condition that you received it.
The return shipping costs will be the responsibility of you, the customer. A prepaid shipping label can be provided, with the associated costs being deducted from the refunded amount.
Any refund or exchange will only be issued once the original item has been shipped back to us.
DUE TO DEFECTIVE OR DAMAGED ITEM
In the unlikely event you receive a defective or damaged item, we offer you the choice of a full refund or a replacement. We will cover all return shipping costs.
Please report any issue within 5 days of receiving your item. We kindly ask that you provide clear evidence of the fault or damage, so we can expedite your request efficiently.
Please refer to our full Refund Policy for more information
Shipping
We can ship to virtually any address in the world. Note that there are restrictions on some products, and some products cannot be shipped to international destinations.
When you place an order, we will estimate shipping and delivery dates for you based on the availability of your items and the shipping options you choose. Depending on the shipping provider you choose, shipping date estimates may appear on the shipping quotes page.
Size chart
- Choosing a selection results in a full page refresh.